Yay Roller Derby!

This is the first in a series of ”Letters to Kami/Kitty”, where we play pen-friends about eachother’s blogs. I miss our runs together —-our real runs, not just our pretend runs ;)

Dear Kami,

I am responding to your blog entry on Confidence (http://www.kamikazekitten.co.uk/KamikazeKitten/Blog/Entries/2012/5/15_The_C_word.html)

1. Read my blog entry on the Habits of Highly Successful Sportspeople —namely the Confidence and Positive Perfectionist bits :)

2. I think you’re right, you’re confusing ”confidence” with ”satisfaction of performance”. You’re thinking that if you give yourself a pat on the back, that it’s a slippery slope to Self Congratulation Town where you sit with your feet up with a shandy in one hand and a ribbon for participation in the other. Also, confidence is NOT superiority. You can have self worth or belief without feeling like it makes you a better person than anyone else.

I think a great derby player (AKA: Sportsperson) is never going to be completely satisfied by their performance. There is always going to be a hunger for refinement or new skills/techniques to devour. 

Being confident means having belief in your preparation, in your past proven performance (I don’t mean ”winning” here, I mean actual good things you have done in a game. Let’s call it: knowing you don’t totally suck), knowing the things you KNOW you do well. It doesn’t always mean you need to be ”confident you’ll win” (These are two different concepts)—-more believing that you have the tools to do so if used correctly on any given day.

I have NEVER played a game where I have thought we’ll win without a doubt—-even games where we have ended up winning by a lot. But maybe that’s because we still just don’t play enough All Star games to make that assumption. It’s important to approach every game with purpose and as a challenge. You want to have those nerves before a game that you know is going to be competitive. I’d be worried if you didn’t!

I used to be like you, if my team (and me personally) were not performing at training like the lovechild of Gotham and Oly, I would feel frustrated. I guess as skaters who are part of ”the best teams” in our respective countries, it’s those top level U.S teams we look up to, thinking if we are not like them, then we suck. I don’t think it’s a bad thing that we strive that high. It’s how we mentally cope with the pressure we put on ourselves. I have a pretty critical thinking process, which is great for deconstructing areas we need to improve on but often would mean I struggled to see how far we had become.

My team mate, Calamity Maim, likes to make the ”Stair Analogy” when talking about progression. That you often don’t recognize that you’re moving up the Stairs of Success, because half of a ”stair” is flat. So you may feel like you’re not going anywhere, when you are. So like you said, that’s why it’s so important to be setting those goals. You need to see evidence of that progress. Real, tangible focuses so you can recognize ”success”.

As a team, we make sure we know what ”success” looks like at EVERY training session. We have a Goal Spreadsheet that we all fill out that the rest of the team can see. So we’re all aware of our own personal goals, what we need to do to achieve them, and what our team mates want to work on. We can remind eachother, or remember to congratulate someone when we know they made a step to reaching their goal. And then we have our team focuses for every session, and we really try to recognize when we get it right, whilst always building and improving. Not only has our team responded incredibly well to this approach, but I feel it has helped my Captaining…I can now see exactly when I should be praising the team, because *I* know what success looks like, instead of always just looking for the next rung of success.

Being a positive perfectionist is a good thing! The day you are satisfied with your skill set is the day you commit derby suicide. I saw a great post on a fitness forum yesterday where someone asked: ”What is a good weight for me to be deadlifting?”. Someone answered back with: ”5lbs more than you lifted last week, and 5lbs less than you’ll lift next week”. I love that!

So as I wind this up, I am glad you have separated ”confidence” from ”complacency” as concepts. It’s ok to be confident in what you CAN do, while always looking to add more to that list. 

Big hugs,

Kitty

P.S: Just in case you’re thinking that I am a super-big-head-confidence-oozer…you’re wrong! It’s a learning process for me too. Luckily I have an amazing team who support eachother, and we’re learning together to find the Goldilocks solution in most aspects of our training and mental preparation. (not too hot, not too cold, but juuuuuuuust right!).

Anonymous asked: Hey kitty i was at the ballroom blizz last weekend it was a great bout, you say you've been skating for 5 yrs when would you say you felt totally comfortable on your skates? watching you run and dance on them the other night was awesome,

Ooh good question!! I don’t really know…it’s been a work in progress. I don’t think there was a time when I went ”Oh I feel 100% comfortable!”, because I am always trying to learn different things. eg: I am rubbish at side surfing with my left foot forward, and have been teaching myself one footed transitions…I certainly don’t feel graceful with those things! Hahahaha :)

I’ve always felt fairly comfortable on my skates…but 3/4 of the stuff I can do now, I couldn’t do 2 years ago. PRACTISE, PRACTISE, PRACTISE. I am on skates about 12 hours a week, sometimes more, and even when I’m just standing still or coaching, I’m always messing about trying different stuff.

I have been thinking a lot lately about what makes a great derby player. Sure; athletic, strong, agile, smart, good speed control….but I don’t really mean the physical skills here…I am talking about what characteristics allow someone to train hard in order to gain the physical skills required of RAD skaters.

As a skater this interests me because I am constantly striving to improve, and as a coach and captain I find it really helpful to understand what’s going on between the ears of skaters (NOTE: It is NOT my job however of being an amateur psychologist!!! I can talk you through some stuff but the buck stops with you, my friend!!!). I have coached alot of skaters through fresh meat, and it always interests me what makes some skaters excel and others flounder, or some who have periods of rapid improvement and then plateau, or those skaters who you just know has ”it” even though they don’t quite have the physical skills yet. That skater you say: ”She is gonna be AMAZING!”, and it’s only her second practice. What is this ”it” that we’re seeing?

Sure, natural talent exists. Anyone coming in with a skating background or sometimes other sports experience may be at an advantage. But then some of the best skaters I know were wall huggers when they started, and those naturally talented ones peaked and faded out, when their natural talent only got them so far and the hard work was required.

So remembering that roller derby is ”just a sport”, like every other sport when it comes down to training and pyschology (yeah yeah, I hear you: ”But Roller Derby is DIFFEREEEEEENNNTTT!!!!” No. It’s not. And we should take comfort in that and learn how we can be effective in our chosen sport), I had a google and read lots of different studies about successful sportspeople and the character traits they possess.

So here they are (I have added some roller derby examples):

1. High Motivation and Commitment:

These are the folks who are constantly pushing themselves. They don’t just turn up and skate the drills they use every minute of skating to be improving something. The set goals and are committed to reaching them. They have an internal drive  to meet their goals rather than being motivated by external factors (eg: All their friends play derby so they want to too; they love the community derby provides; they like the idea of being a ”derby girl”; they like the hot chicks). Skaters who are highly motivated will also be competitive, goal oriented and are able to derive pathways to achieve their goals.

They also know they are personally accountable for their own training and progress. They take responsibility for setting training goals. They do not blame the weather, their sore finger, their tiredness, their hungriness, their coach (we have all skated with this lass!!!) for why they have not reached where they think they should be.

2. Optimistic and Positive:

These are glass half full skaters. They have confidence in their abilities and are also able to remain positive when faced with difficulties. Remember confidence does NOT equal arrogance. Confidence is knowing what you are able to do, and having the optimism to feel like you CAN learn new skills if you really want to. These skaters will have positive self-talk. Instead of thinking: ”I CAN’T!” in an endurance drill, they will say to themselves: ”I know you’re hurting, but just keep going” or in my case if I start to hear that doubt, I force myself to skate 3 super fast laps as punishment!!

3. Positive Perfectionism

This is one I felt was really interesting. There are two types of perfectionism: adapative (good) and maladaptive (bad).

*Adaptive perfectionism is associated with achievement and success. 

*Maladaptive is related to negative mental health

Here’s a direct quote from the study:

”Adaptive perfectionists set high standards and like to be organized, but they are low on concern over mistakes, doubts about actions and concern over parental criticism (when young). Maladaptive perfectionists also hold high standards and like to be organized; however, they are also overly concerned with mistakes, have frequent doubts about actions and are preoccupied with parental criticism.

The Olympians we studied were positive perfectionists and demonstrated few maladaptive perfectionist tendencies. Consequently, they set high standards and were organized, but they were not overly concerned with mistakes or experienced frequent doubts about their abilities. When growing up, they did not worry about parental criticism.”

Who knew there was good perfectionism and bad?! Which one are you?

Everyone wants to be awesome—but is your style of perfectionism preventing you from succeeding?

Case study:

(FYI: I no longer skate with this person. So if you’re wondering if it’s you, it’s not!)

Let’s call her Skater X. She was at a crossroads with her blocking. It had previously been fairly successful but as the game and jammers’ skills developed, it was no longer effective. She was frustrated and knew what she needed to do to improve, but she was afraid to ”re-learn” and to maybe make mistakes and look like a bit of an idiot while she tried new things. We had pretty frank discussion about it, but she just wasn’t able to make that leap, and consequently lost her place on the travel team.

4. Focus:

These skaters have a remarkable ability to concentrate and block out distractions, to skate in the moment during games and at training. They are ale to forget about their ”life stuff”, the crowd, the score, the pressure, and just play jam by jam.

These skaters also have the ability to automate their skills, so they aren’t having to think about what they are doing physically. They can therefore focus on what they can control and don’t think about what they cannot, eg: That ridiculous ref call, or the other team trash talking them.

5. Ability to Handle Pressure:

Can you handle it?? Chances are, if you can’t in life, you may struggle with this one. This is all about resilience and being able to deal with routine setbacks and anxiety associated with competitive sports. Did you hate sports as a kid? Chances are you struggled with the pressure. The folks who can hack it in this department are those who don’t view evaluation and competition as threatening. They have high levels of self control and the ability to peak under pressure. 

I think this is a huge one in DIY roller derby. No-one signs up for disappointment, right? There are some studies out there about how from Gen Y down, we have raised kids who, as adults, don’t know how to deal with disappointment as their parents cotton-wooled them from it. It’s the ”everyone gets a ribbon on sports day” approach. Everyone is ”super duper” for just turning up and running the race.

Check out this site for parents, and see if you can find any words of wisdom for your adult self ;)

http://www.more4kids.info/734/kids-and-sports-handling-disappointment/

Growing up, my Dad was a high school Phys.Ed teacher. Contrary to what you’re thinking though, he wasn’t a sideline bully, but nor was he a ”Gee whizz, you’re the best!” Dad. He was encouraging, but we always knew if we wanted to improve, we had to train and practice. It didn’t matter if we won or not…it was about playing well. Or if we really wanted to win, and we didn’t, being able to work out why and how to improve for next time (if that’s what we wanted). I was pretty middle of the road at all the sports I played when I was younger, but I enjoyed sports. Thanks Dad!

6. Sports Intelligence:

These skaters are able to analyse their performance and are able to be innovative in their techniques.

They watch footage of themselves and not rely solely on feedback (though the latter is a great tool too, and being able to respond positively to feedback is super important). They can see new or different ways of playing the game (remember how the collective unconscious derby world all started blocking backwards around the same time?). These skaters watch DNN, they think about the game….they are students of the sport. Especially in such a new sport as derby, thinking about the game is as important as playing it. Skaters with sports intelligence have an instinctual decision making process on the track. They seem to just know where to be and what to do at any given time, and get it right more often than not. They can also recognize and learn from the times when perhaps they made the wrong call.

So there you have it—-the real reasons behind success as a derby skater! It’s probably not possible to be all of this things all the time. And that’s ok! There are times when you physically or mentally can’t be (we apparently have ”lives” or something). It’s all about self-awareness. So have a think about these characteristics and where you sit on the scale.

If you recognize you’re Mental Toolbox is perhaps missing a tool or two, catch yourself next time you feel it happening and see if you can’t turn it around to a positive way of thinking of behaving. Train your mind out of its bad habits and your performance will follow.

Study:

PSYCHOLOGICAL CHARACTERISTICS OF U.S. OLYMPIC CHAMPIONS
By: Daniel Gould, Ph.D.; Kristen Dieffenbach, M.S. and Aaron Moffett, M.S.
University of North Carolina – Greensboro

I was asked at a bootcamp I coached at on the weekend how you can make skaters be motivated to want to be serious derby athletes.

My answer was that you alone cannot. The skater themselves needs to make that commitment.

You can hope to inspire, lead by example and encourage but ultimately the buck stops with the individual. You can’t drag someone kicking and screaming down that path.

Everyone is part of derby for different reasons, especially in a new league when you’re still finding your collective raison d’être. 

As a Coach and Captain, I try to adapt how I approach different skaters—I know some respond to hard-arse instruction, others prefer a one-on-one discussion after practice. I know who I can be completely direct to and who needs a softer approach. I also know which of my co-coaches or leadership team who have the right approach that particular skaters responds well to. It’s all about people management and we do what we need to do to get the most out of our team, because we believe in them and want to see everyone be the best they can be. BTW: I don’t get it right all the time either. In fact there are probably certain skaters out there who I consistently get it wrong with!

Where your responsibility ends, however, is if you don’t feel you are being met half way. We are not all professional sports psychologists (though I am passionate about understanding this discipline), counsellors, behavioural specialists or mind readers. You can lead a horse to water but you can’t make it drink. Or in derby terms, you can lead a skater to the rink but you can’t make her train.

I field alot of questions from skaters around this subject. They are super serious about being the best derbythlete (I just made that up) that they can, and wonder why everyone around them isn’t equally so. WHY ARE PEOPLE TALKING DURING PACELINES AND NOT FOCUSING???!!! WHY ARE THEY TAKING SO LONG DURING THEIR WATER BREAKS????!!!!! I KNOW SHE DOESN’T HAVE A BLISTER, SHE’S JUST HUNG OVER!!!!!!!!!!!

YOU WILL SEND YOURSELF CRAZY IF YOU KEEP UP THIS INNER ANGRY GRUMPY-PANTSNESS!!

Not everyone wants to, or CAN, skate 6 times a week and cross train on top of that, fly around the country doing training camps, watch DNN at 3am, etc. As long as your skaters are fulfilling your league’s policies in terms of attendance and training requirements, you are always going to have different levels of physical and mental commitment in your league.

This may sound all Negative Nancy, but really this is about your own sanity and what you can or should spend your energy on which should hopefully lead to a more positive time for you. I think (*GENERALISATION ALERT!!!*), women can be addicted to trying to ”make things right”. Think of the old cliche about trying to ”fix” that bad-boy boyfriend. Same thing in derby. Where guys may be more ”I don’t care if Derek (Who is called Derek anymore?) isn’t at cricket training, he just won’t make the team next time”, us women will call our team mate, check if everything’s ok, help them through a rough patch, give them support—-and that’s really awesome! It’s something that is extra special about what we do. But recognize when it gets to ”bad-boy boyfriend” stage and your investment just isn’t giving you a return. 

This is not to say to give up on anyone. But don’t drive yourself round the bend trying to force everyone to be as committed as you. Wow! Did that really come out of MY mouth? This off season has changed me, man.

Things like finding out what your individual team mate’s goals are for the season is really important. That way you can channel your energy into helping them do the things THEY want, rather than what you want from them. Coming up with joint team goals that you can all strive for is an important marker too. Then folks know what is expected of them from their team mates.

So this post is not so much about the skater in question and whether what they are doing is right or wrong. It’s about YOU and how to sustain yourself mentally as a coach or captain. Lose the Mother Teresa Syndrome!!!

HAPPY NEW YEAR! HOPE YOU’RE ALL SETTING YOURSELF SOME RAD GOALS FOR 2012!

We all want to get better at this derby thing. We all want to improve and be even more kick ass, right?

Really?

Ask yourself truthfully if that is the case—because it is gonna take alot of commitment (more than just turning up to practice), and it’s also gonna mean taking a dose of reality—no matter how hard you try, you still may never be better than <insert your league’s Star Skater’s name here>.

So why IS that??!! Because chances are, they are hell bent on improving too. That’s not to say it is an impossibility to surpass those who have come before you…but that’s not my point…my point is that is it OK TO BE WHERE YOU ARE AT as long as you are improving and setting goals that are benchmarks for YOURSELF.

Look back at your derby journey right now. Remember when you couldn’t do a turn around toe stop? Remember your first scrimmage where you felt like you would never understand what the hell was going on?

Take time to pat yourself on the back. Look at all the awesome stuff you can do. Yay! So don’t be too hard on yourself….be the RIGHT AMOUNT OF HARD on yourself.

So here’s the catch—don’t let the need for improvement cripple you. Let it CHALLENGE YOU. And enjoy it. Being challenged is key for improvement. That challenge can come from skating with/against those around you but the true challenges come from those you set yourself.

I am a big believer in goal setting. When I say that, I don’t mean setting a goal like ”I want to win the season final!” Duh, no shit. Hint: so does the other team! HOW are you going to win that game?

“I want to be a bad ass jammer like Atomatrix!” Just wanting it to happen isn’t going to make it happen.

One of my favourite quotes is from Michael Jordan:”Some people want it to happen, some wish it would happen, others make it happen.” Pretty much sums up roller derby for me :)

Sure, having a broad focus is great but in order to give yourself the best chance of success, make your goals task oriented and measurable.

1. Get a piece of paper.

2. Write down 3 (or more!) things you want to improve on.

3. MOST IMPORTANT!—Write down the steps of HOW you are going to achieve them. eg: If you want to work on your positional blocking, maybe your steps will be: Get tips from my league’s best positional blocker, practice my plow stops so I can slow jammers down, get lower and wider, grab a team mate and practice with her during warm up or between drills, remember that I should be closer to the inside line than I think.

4. As dorky as it sounds, end with an affirmation, eg: ”I am an awesome positional blocker”. Writing it down makes it real.

5. Share your goals with a team mate. And better still, have her share hers with you. I always find, once you say something, then it has to happen! Help eachother to reach your goals.

6. Don’t compare yourself to others. It’s great to admire the skills of other skaters and to want to emulate their mad skillz. But if you are continually frustrated that you are not as fast/strong/fit/agile as Superstar McMadskillz, you’ll never see the progress you are making.

7. Being frustrated is ok sometimes. Feeling like you had a rubbish session is alright too. Don’t let it eat you up —-you’re probably just PMS’ing ;)  Take a deep breath and remember to tell yourself you don’t suck half as much as you think you do.

8. Put timeframes to those goals, and review every month. Did you reach your goal? Set some more? Not quite? Why? BE HONEST! Did you not follow Step 2? Why not? Was there always a ”reason” why you couldn’t carry them out? Learn to distinguish between reasons and excuses. Are you the kind of person who always has a ”reason” for not going to the gym? ”Too tired/too rainy/too hungry/too busy/too hot/too cold/etc etc”. That’s totally cool, but just know that you probably won’t get that place on the roster for that big game, or on a personal level, you probably won’t see a whole bunch of improvement. If you are injured, sick or just not having a good day, of course you shouldn’t train if you are just not up for it. But if you find yourself making those ”’gym excuses” for why you couldn’t complete your goals, be honest with yourself. And it’s ok if you recognize you made some lame excuses :) And sometimes you have legit reasons, and that’s ok too. It’s what you do from there that is important. Acknowledge it, then move on.

HAPPY IMPROVING, Everyone!

xoxo